Deception

DECEPTION

Ships were a delight for the natives of the islands, especially American ships and all would practice their otea native dances and aparimas or hand dance for hours every evening for months in anticipation of their arrival.

As we were entertaining our visiting General Authorities and their wives in Bora bora one balmy evening in 2004, after dinner by torch light, we were mincing our way through the flowered path to our bungalows in the dark, we could hear the faraway drums of one of these dance practices, and Sister Dallenbach turned to me and, with concern in her voice she asked:" What are those sounds? "Oh, they're drums, they are practicing their dances" I answered. " Ohh" she said with relief " I thought the natives were getting restlesss." Elder Dallenbach could only say ' Oh Mary Jane!"

The natives also loved the ships because, not only will they be able to visit many big foreign ships but they would habitually be invited to a very fancy dinner with real china setting and all,and afterward be free to enjoy the ship, meet and chat with the company-starved crewmen on the festive lighted bridge, such a dreamy romantic treat for the girls.

Debates lasted for years about what the bowls of hot water with the floating lime slices were for on the tables, lime tea? room freshner?to put the empty shell fish in, to wash your face with after dinner?

A french man described his arrival at the Papeete quay in the 1800's as an incredible blinding array of shocking bright colored fragrant flowers and fruits, and splashes of islands wraps, and all sorts of hats, baseball like hats made of plaited coconut fibers, or visors with their hair pulled through the open top for the younger radicals, while most of the women shaded themselves with wide brim pandanus straw hats casting shadows on their sleeping nursing children or, to his horrific delight, on the piglets or puppies nursing at their breasts! They gave a new meaning to nourishing pets!

For now the ships are gone, and the youth are still practicing their dances for the next show on the Mariposa Cruise Ship. They finish early so that everyone may go shower and get ready for the Mormon dance.

By the time the traveling young men arrive from Tiva, the dance is well under way.

Terai only danced with her brothers on the perimeter since she is not quite 14 yet to be elligible to go to Church dances. All that Kifa could do is to eye her as he foxtrotted the older girls around the dance floor.
His sideway glances were not lost to Mataute, her father, known as the meaniest man on the island.
Mataute has seen that look before, that 'tinito'(chinese)young man in the red pareo shirt can only spell bothersome trouble. After 22 children, and most of them daughters, he ought to know.

(to be continued in this entry)

NOCTURNAL RENDEZ-VOUS

It was my belief, from what my mother had recounted to me in the new room of my home in Provo, that the whole beginning of our family drama started at this point, on this night after the dance. But according to new knowledge, the dance should have been later and not on the night of the very day they met. Or the night when all hell broke loose at the Hapairai's happened on another night other than that dance night .

Since last July, after listening to tonton Abel(He graduated from being just 'cousin ' to " Uncle" because of age and because he was one of the grandchildren my grandparents adopted , or more correctly fostered, since their family name was never changed) told me how he was right in the middle of my parents "frequentation" or courting. So accordingly, I reconsidered what my mom said to me that might have been ambiguous, and surmised that maybe when she mentioned the dance and the red shirt, and the moon light being so bright that my grandfather recognized my dad right away and blamed my mother for setting up the rendez-vous., she connected two stories without meaning to do so.

Bu according to Abel they met quite a bit before. So here is his tale:

I slept in the long front hall, which had 4 twin beds lined against the wall beneath the flowery curtains blowing in the Leeward breezes. This gave access to all three bedrooms which contained two big beds each. Your mother slept in the first one from the stairs coming up into the sleeping house on stilts.

When I would hear Kifa's footsteps creaking up the stairs, usually about 8:30 to 9 PM, I would part the curtain by from the bed closest to the stairs and look down at him smiling at me.

"Good he didn't forget my treat." I thought.

I 'd get up and go part the curtain to Terai's bedroom and whisper "Ei" and with a tilt of my head toward the steps, she'd hurry and tie her pareu properly and go sit with her guest on the stairs, as Kifa would toss me his bribe, a pork or peanut chow pao(filled steamed rolls), a piece of meat pie, something my family never could afford to buy, to keep my mouth occupied and my mind happy so I wouldn't tell.

As long as I was eating whatever he brought me, they could talk quietly, but as soon as I was done, I'd part the curtain again and say "Ei!, uoti ra! That's enough! " "E haere vau parau! I'm going to tell ! "

So Kifa would reluctantly leave her on the steps where she sat as I watched mercilessly as they said their silent goodbyes with their eyes.

Eventually when they were together, they'd take me with them way up into the valley jungle, where only the Chinese would want to go, with only a piece of smelly dried fish and steamed rice in their pack , which lasted them for days by foraging the rest of their meals from what grew in the wild .

It was with them that I learned you could eat the "tari'a iore" -mouse ears mushrooms growing on the rotten logs laying around on their vanilla plantation, and that green shredded papayas made a very fine crunchy salad to go with the dried fish and rice. The Chinese could make anything taste delicious.

MOONLITHT TREACHERY

Grandfather Mataute gathered his family around him for the evening prayer, eloquently praising God for his matchless power to forgive and blot out the sins of the sniveling and debauched ways of men, when footsteps came sloshing through the flooded backyard widening to the river delta.

Everone one tries to keep reverent until the Amen, and Granfather leaps up from his kneeling position to peer out the window and spot the intruder.

The moonlight is resplendent in all its glory, you can even see the leaves of the trees grrowing far up the mountains. As as Mataute pans his eyes back and forth to spot anything out of the ordinary, he sees a flash of a red pareo shirt moving through the tall grass toward the sleeping house and calls out with rage:

"I know who you are , you are A Kien's son! Why are you prowling around my house! Make yourself known!"

When KIFA heard the voice he disappeared into the night and listened woefully as the scene turned dark and ugly.

"Terai! You are the perpetrator in this! How dare you behave like a whore at my house, right under my nose. How many time have I told you all that if you bring boys here I will hang you from the rafters above your bed!

Haven't I warn you! How many times did I say it? He roars as he grabs and pulls her up the back stairs going up into the Sleeping House.

"I didn't tell him to come, I swear papa!" Don't lie to me! Kifa heard from his hiding palce, then a scramble, a fall on the ciment landing, a cry of pain, then a shuffle.

"Come with me so I can hang you, I mean what I say and I do what I say!" Mataute menaces through his teeth.

"No Papa, I will never do it again , never, never..." "So you did tell him to come by! I will teach you what I do with liers and whores." he seethes as he pulls Terai by the hair up the stairs as she looks wildly about for an escape. she has not a shadow of a doubt that her father would do just as he says, hang her from the rafters above her bed.

She makes a last effort to break away and falls back to the ciment landing, her clothes ripping off her body from his tight clutch, leaving her just in her white slip and bra. She scramble away and ran into the night

" Terai! Wait! I am so sorry! I didn't mean for all of this to happen! Let me help you! Come I will take you to my house until he cools off in the morning!" he whispers as he grabs her hand from behind a bush.

All night they ran toward the other side of the island retracing the path Kifa knew well even in the dark, for a girl of fourteen it was arduous and treacherous, but she ran as if tupapa'u ghosts were in hot pursuit and on their heels, their stinking hot breath sniggering at her nape, pulling at her hair sticky with dried blood, brimy sea and sweat of terror.

She was silent, except for her labored breathing. Kifa urged her on with tenderness and with grave concern. Would her father really hang her? What now, would he listen to reason come morning or would he be even more incensed?

The lamp in the bakery barn was on when they arrive. His father looks out to the edge of the sea toward the splashing footsteps. "At least he brought a friend with him to help make the bread on time for morning." he says to his wife .

"I wonder what happened to him. He's never been late making the bread every night." she adds, " And who is that with him? It's a girl!"

The warmth of the light and of the ciment ovens put some life back into her mind. The strange features of the typical Chinese frontier store mesmerizes her, the smell of fresh yeast, rising dough, and burning charcoal seeding the air with fecund ripeness, like having babies she imagines, yards and yards of soft baguette dough swelling precariously on their 2x4 beds as they turn a golden hue right before her eyes.

She's been left alone in her discovery, while Kifa is having a very animated conversation with his parents, all in Hakka except for a few words the father exclaims " Mataute! She's his daughter! Aiaiaia!" Her mind doesn't want to go there for now...She watches the flickering flames lick the contour of the baguettes ever so gently coaxing a blush from their puckering, plump lip -like slits. The kiss of death. Yeah that's what I got!

"Eat this, my mother just finished steaming it in the wok for us." Sitting on a log bench near the ovens, he ahnds her a pair of chop sticks and her bowl of food.

The rice is soft and fragrant, the vegetables strange and delicious, but her favorite is the meat.

"E ina'i te ie?" "Is this beef?" Umm! It is delicious, I've never had beef before!" she says shyly, but her eyes shone with childish delight.

I have seen that grin of intense pleasure in her eyes as she told me of that fateful night. While most of the story is clouded over as with a veil of darkness, something forboding and ugly, that veil is parted slightly for a few moments as she reminisces each tantalizing spice on her tongue, her eyes bright with a gamine smile. " Is is meat? she asks.

"It's just fish" he answered her, amused at her naivete. " What you are tasting that's different are the spices. There's garlic, ginger, dried orange rind, dried lemon grass, soy and oyster sauce, fish sauce, hoisin sauce, MSG and sea salt."

" We get salt once in a while, when fishing is great. Are the other spices as expensive?"

"My mother grows most of the stuff except for the sauces, they come from main land China."

'From that time forward I've always had garlic, ginger, and dried orange peels in my cupboard" she confided when she share her story with me on a warm afternoonAugust 26, 1996 . Coming down stairs to see them my father related:

" You mother is so funny, this morning I woke up and realized that it was the 26 th of August , so when she woke up I said to her 'E e cherie e, Happy 35th year of our Anniverssary!' and she whispered ' yeah, 35 years of misery!' She is so blunt !"

I endeavored the whole day to find the right time to coax her to tell me her Story.

I suppose he was not hurt by her reaction , because he understood that she meant all the pains of their life as a sum, starting with 'their story' and ending with what she was feeling that morning, sitted on the bed, looking out over Utah lake from the bay window, her eyes shielded with white cups still from cataract surgery. After all, Dad and I had her fly her to the States after we got an urgent message from Erica, while we were still on our last days of our Holy Land Tour in Athen Greece, that she was in a diabetic shock and to hurry home.

A generation later I still keep garlic, ginger, and dried orange peels religiously as a staple in my cupboard. They make me feel well kept, warm, well nourished, and complete- more accomplished. I am sure that is the way aunt Karesty's grand mother feels when she insist on black olives on her Holiday table. You will have to ask Karesty for that tale.

THE HAPAIRAI MORMON LEGACY

Each Protestant family saved all year for “Tithing Day” which lasted all day and through the night while each family on the island took their turn presenting their contributions, marching up to the deacon with as much pomp as one could muster. The festivities interspersed with the tithing parade went deep into the night, with lively Tarava Chanting lulling the little ones to sleep on mats near their swaying parents.
Each tarava verse in the making as the procession went on.
“I loved listening to aunt____________, she was the island tarava specialist. She would compose each verse on the spot as things would develop during the night and the spirit moved her. Her words were enchanting and sweet to the mouth, very catchy and easy to memorize. It went on all night long, and we sang answering her lead until we lost our voices. I never could be as great as she was” my mother reminisced with me on my pre mission trip in January 2002. This magazine cover illustrates this setting, a swaying sea of cross-legged, white clad singers, responding with delight to the lead call of the standing himene tarava leader, on and on they would repeat a few stanza, then the chorus. And just when everyone got the song, she would surprise the gleeful singers with a new verse on the spot, and they would follow the same pattern but with different words with added serendipities.

At one of those Tithing Festival, when it was time for the Teriipaia family to join the procession with their gift token, a piece of land on the steep hill, the deacon spurned their gift before the people. My grandfather as the local deacon tried to persuade him to apologize but he refused.
To make things worse, when T\the Hapairais and the Teriipaias entered the church the next Sunday with white shirts and ties as was the custom in Tahaa, the Deacon marched them out of the church for not being appropriately clothed with a suit coat exactly like the Zoramites they would read later in the Book of Mormon.

“ They want to treat us this way, we will have our own church. I’m going to Raiatea to invite the Mormon missionaries they hate so much to come and preach to us, maybe their Gospel is more charitable.!” My uncle Teriipaia said.

The first night Elder Childers and his companion arrived they preached to mostly family members filling the dance/movie/ meeting paepae or bowry made of vertical posts with a roof of plaited coconut leaves, Yom Kippur booth style. That’s what they truly were, temporary stalls,huts, or tabernacles during festivals and celebrations. By the second night, the group swelled beyond the reach of the bowry’s single Coleman lantern light, and settled around a fire, where the bewildered missionaries continued teaching.

The Teriipaias were the first to be baptized and the Hapairais last, but once my grandfather was baptized , his whole family except for his two already married daughters who lived in Tahiti took the plunge also.

His baptism day arrived with a fierce rain which turned the usually lazy river near the back of their home into a swollen flood impregnated with red mud, broken limbs and trees, floating coconuts and creatures, all racing each other toward the sea.
The nice pool which was prepared the evening before for the baptism was the first thing that washed away. Everything seems to connive together to stop this saving ordinance from going forward to the very last second.
After my grandfather was buried under the water, he came out of the water another man. The elders put their hands on his head to confer upon him the Gift of the Holy Ghost. As the missionary spoke with his eyes closed and his voice lifted heavenward, the small group around him, eyes wide open, watched with horror as a centipede, almost twelve inches long, crawl across my grandfather’s bare feet only to disappear up into his pant leg.
Grand father knew at once what just crawled onto his feet, even with his closed eyes. He tried to concentrate on the words of the Elder. He knew that the centipede must not sense any fear from him, or any danger, or he will sting. He could not drop his pants quickly enough without frightening it, besides what would all these people think.
He sensed the creature desperately trying to find his way out against the cinch of his belt . He sucked in his stomach to give it room to pass through and continue onto his chest. The spectators followed its wiggling shape through the thin fabric of his white shirt, My grandfather felt his entanneas near his jugular vein, he held his breath until he felt it move upward onto his neck, which he stretched enough to give it room to pass through the tie cinch. He finally breathed again when the centipede crawled out of his shirt collar onto his shoulder where he swatted it with a swift swipe of his hand, just as the Elder said his Amen. His children knew how significant that sign was to their legacy, as if all hell broke loose to prevent their enlightenment and progression, but in the end, the centipede, the evil one, the serpent, the scorpion of old, could not prevail against the power of the Holy Ghost, the Comforter and Protector.
But the principle of duality is in all things, Scorpio represents both the serpent's head being crushed by Eve's descendant, and a wise serpent(Joseph Smith admonished his followers to be as harmless as doves but as wise as serpents) as in the brazen Serpent or the Feathered Serpent of the Mayas representing Christ. So it must be with the Centipede we would learn by and by.
Since that time it seemed that the centipede had truly become our family animal totem, being present at each Hapairai funeral.
Big fat ones slithered around the flower bouquets left on my mothers tomb in Hitiaa when my brother Karl went back to say goodbye to her by himself later that evening.
I was stung three times by centipedes, on my hip twice, then the back of my neck in less than 24 hours in the Marquesas as our family attended the Art and Dance Festival there in 2004, their presence, a constant reminder to watch our steps in this world.

The curious thing about it is that we don’t at all regard this sign as malevolent, but more like a reminder of something important, a warning, a confirmation. Heaven knows we did not choose the centipede as our animal totem, it chose us. The American indians say that we must learn the attributes of our totem animal and emulate them.

We are a water people, and where water is, centipedes abound; they are most active during and after a rain.

Did Nephi of the Book of Mormon have problems with centipedes too? His Egyptian name root Naph- water, as in "water is good", seems to have been understood by his South American brothers;the stone temple monuments speak of him and his feat , the Cloud Brother, their leader and prophet.

THE CHINESE LEGACY

San Franscisco was bursting with odd looking and very dirty cow boys their bags of gold couldn’t not clean.
“That is why most of us stay, they need us to keep them clean. We do not have to grovel in the dirt to find gold, they put it in the palm of our hands when they pick up their clean clothes.!” His cousins said persuadingly as they help him carry the last crates of Chinese food staples their father ordered.
“Aah our people can thank you in person for your dependable business. I don’t know how these Americans can subsist on beef, beans, bread and butter, and potatoes every day, some are becoming as large as cows, if they don’t get sick first and die. What have you got for us this time ?” his distant uncle said.
“ Three crates each of dried oysters, dried cuttle-fish, dried fish, sweet rice crackers, dried bamboo sprouts, dried fruits, five kinds of dried vegetables, noodles, dried sea-weed, dried Chinese bacon, dried abalone, peanut oil, dried mushroom, tea, and rice, the usual staples. You said not to bother send dried pork and chicken, since you can have that here.” he responded courteously, as he scanned the humble store weighing his options to stay and make his fortune here or gamble for better elsewhere.
His curiosity of what lay in that great South Pacific ocean and its undiscovered fortunes lured him on to balmier skies.
By the time he returned to China, or rather, by the time he felt sufficiently settled to finally send for his first wife-yes he married one of the servant girl in the meantime, (I don’t know if it was a convenience marriage due to French laws, or if even if it came about in San Francisco where only merchants had wives accompanying them), the boy sold to her and whom LaouSi had adopted during his abcence with his permission, had by this time had a son, and was managing the family estate while his wife, heartbroken, lonely, and angered by his neglect, left him to seek her own fortune in Paris France.
This son was my grandfather Yuen Thin Soy (the French put the last name Yuen first) who got to meet my great grandfather on his death bed, just a few hours before he died in Uturoa, the bustling village of Raiatea, in the upper room of his retail store.
His second wife , the servant, had left him in anticipation of his first wife’s arrival, since the French government did not allow polygamy, to make her life in Jamaica, where family members resided. She took all the gold she could wear on her person. The only other proper place for precious jewels in these uncertain times was under one’s pillow.

Yuen Thin Soy later married the bride mutually agreed upon by both families, a union calculated to benefit both families.
She was spunky and sassy in her own quiet way. There was nothing she could not do. When her husband did not get around to making her new baby a hanging swing seat, or a tricycle, she would grab the hammer to pull out the boards from the empty Nestle crates and straightened the nails to make them.
My dad remembers watching her in her black silk top and pants, her braid swinging down her back, building a bunk bed out of larger packing crate boards.
For Christmas she would give all the customers a bottle of fine Pineapple Rum she’d brewed for many weeks in the attic of the store, where my youngest uncle Adrien, Ki khong, lured by the delicious fruity aroma, dipped and licked his fingers until he fell asleep drunk near the bubbling vat, while the family looked all over for the missing child. She was definitely not a “Pointsettias Christmas gifts” kind of a person.
My mother remembers well the day her white cloth covered body, along with all the passengers of the hydroplane Catalina which crashed soon after takeoff into the pass between Raiatea and Tahaa, her white dainty feet even my mother who knew her only a very short time, recognized at once, among all the other dead bodies, most of them Chinese relatives returning from a funeral in Tahiti. They were all found still buckled in their seats, the 23 passenger hydroplane sunk at the bottom of Avapiti Pass in Uturoa. I remember pointing it out to sister Simmons from the dining room at the Hawaiki Nui Resort after a grueling day of Zone Conference in 2005.



Le Canso Catalina II A c/n 296 a été construit par Consolidated Vultee à San Diego pour le compte de la RCAF sous matricule 9712. Il est ensuite cédé à la RAF sous matricule V9712, VA712, puis vendu à un privé et porte VR-BAB comme indicatif. Il est acquis par la RAI et immatriculé F-OAVV. Le 19 février 1958, il est détruit lors d’un amerrissage à Raiatea dans les îles Leeward.

Grand father, Kung Kung, as I always called him, was devasted and began a downward spin with gambling and drinking til he died in 1976. He relied on his firstborn son, my father Kifa, Jacques, to carry on the business of the store. And so my father , at a very young age, had learned to work with very little sleep in between. They supplied the whole island with French baguettes which he made every night starting at 12 AM in a home made oven and delivered all of them by breakfast time on his bicycle. I asked him once what was his favorite thing in the world.
“ The sunrise!” he said without hesitation. Much later did it dawned on me the reason for his odd response: He was up and awake and delivering all those baguettes he spent all night making by sunrise every day for years, even to this day he is up and serving the Clinique Cardella personel, and the nearby college students at his Snack Dur Dur by that time. Hard work has not harden him though. It has actually kept him from debauchery and from getting old and decrepit, or is it Kung Fu that keeps him young and limber.

But now we must revert to about a year before all this happened, to the night of that fateful dance.

Kifa along with some friends decide that they must go back to Tiva to get some Mennen aftershave and Nestle concentrated milk out of the store to make their cocktail punch. If they left right after supper, before the sun sets, if they walked and swam really fast they could make it back by the time the dance has really warmed up, 8PM is about right.
Back at the family store, while his friends grabbed the ingredients for the hooch from the shelves, he slipped away to get a red flower island shirt, and plucked a tiare flower bud to tuck behind his ear. Oh he must not forget his boxing gloves, to show off his skills in case of a friendly boxing match.

The trip back was arduous to say the least, a dirt road didn’t quite girdle the island completely, a few stretches could only be traversed by swimming around a point before reaching the shore again. Some places had slippery cliffs to clamber over in the dark, all in the name of fun.
As it is today, the fun parties always seemed to happen at the far end of the island, the Tuamotu calls it “nake”, furthest away from where you are, and the boys took it in stride and made these treacherous jaunts almost every night, taking care to keep their change of clothes dry for the vahines, or rather , for the tamahines , considering how young their were.


The youth made their own party, a guitar or two and a ukulele strumming out “E Vahine Veve Au, O Tahiti Nui I Te Fare Auri, E Te Mau Tamarii, and a gallon of homemade hooch and you were “prime entertainment on the bridge”, which usually ended with gang fights, especially if there were no girls to distract their energies.


“We must restrain ourselves until after the dance. It’s a mormon dance and no drunkards are allowed. And those pretty girls are very picky too.” Kifa said.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Terai sat on an old stool next to the fragrant vanilla beans drying in the sun on racks made from crate wood slats and old chicken wire, her eyes following the game while her heart thumped a crazy dance as one of the chinese young men stood next to her waiting to get in again. He smelled rich-of cologne, not like an old sweaty moldy T-shirt like most of the Tahitian boys she knew did.
For a Chinese boy , he was vain, he wore a half opened red tinged tiare behind his left ear. The tiare, Gardenia tahitientis, are white , the last time she checked.

" What on earth did he do to make it red? Even the girls went as far as cover the tiare buds with its leaves twisted into little cones to force enough flowers to make a lei, or hei in Tahitian, to mature faster for a dance or other important events, but to change their colors?"

The boy turned his head and cocked his head pleasantly at her and returned his attention to the game, but she noticed he came back to the same spot next to her every time he was out. She swung her feet nervously perched on her stool, her dark burnished vanilla skin pearling with perspiration, betraying her excitement.

"What's your name little one?" he flirted with her.

" Terai." She answered shyly.

"Are you going to that dance tonight?" he inquired.

"Maybe!" she said coyly.

They didn't say another word to each other for the rest of that afternoon, but each very aware of the other, every little stolen look syncopating their synchronized breaths,deep, sweet and heady as the vanilla spice that enveloped the two young lovers.

She watched him from the shore as he went out to catch dinner with his team mates until her brothers came to fetch her to go help with the dance preparations.



Next Episode : The Fateful Dance

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How am I supposed to Mount this Beast !

One thing for sure, we got that motorcycle at the nick of time I must say.

I understand why we feel a bit younger riding a motorcycle- it's because you have to be younger!

The other day we took the bike for our date and meet up with some friends at an exclusive restaurant. We nearly fell over, bike and all, as I was trying to mount it.
M husband hung on for dear life, holding up his weight, the bike's weight, and my weight, as he tipped the bike lower so I could reach the passenger peg on the other side !
How am I supposed to swing my right leg over the seat, and over the sissy bar back rest also? That's practically a vertical leg split! I definitely need to do some stretching and strengthening excercises... That'll keep one young.

After relating our hilarious mounting experience over a delicious rack of lamb, huge buttery tiger prawns and giant scallops dinner , our friends decided to come and see us mount the beast.

Miraculously, Bill suavely tipped the bike and I put my left foot in the peg on my side this time, raising my other leg over the seat like a cheerleader mount, and saddling the sissy seat like a girl should, to put my right foot on the other peg. Slick as snot, as my boys would say.

Now, why was that much easier than before? Did the adrenalin from being watched make us smarter or more limber?

Another problem:
What's one rider to do, who is 5'4 and hates to wear pants?
I shan't give up. Must hit the Google trail for answers.
And I found more than what I needed at:

http://www.bikerlady.com/bikerladyweb/for_the_pillion_babe.htm

How wonderful of these people to take the time to write what they know so others can have a smoother ride. Thank you sister.


The hair glove is definitely a great idea to keep away nasty snags.

And leather chaps are essential protecting gears, and not to laugh at, even when worn with Daisy Duke shorts they will protect your bare skin from the disfiguring burns from those pipes. I remember now being burned as a teeenager, riding my cousin's moto from school, and got that mean scar on the side of my calf to show for it.

I guess I'll also need to buy a Shoei or HJC helmet. I wanted it all black but maybe I'll need to buy a coral orange color for more visibility on the road, since my husband's is all black as it is.

I don't know why all the fuss though about looking good while riding since no one will know whose under the hood !!

Til next time.

Rider Babe

My husband just purchased a motorcycle Suzuki C50T, so I get to pick a brand new image for myself while riding behind him, since I can't help it but be visible.
So here are my options, after spending 2 days googling for leather, chaps, leather jackets and such. What would you suggest?
My son Michael, the original owner of the bike, says that black leather with silver studs and chaps are for Harleys and we'll get beat up for it. He used to say that to me when he didn't like my choice of school clothes for him, or when my hunsband would wear black socks with his shorts "Besides they're for old people" said he.

We want none of that.
If anything, we want to look young, feel young and carefree,when we're riding. We might be old but we don't have to dress the part. So, how about this white outfit, with little sleeves.






This is what I had in mind at first.


If it gets too hot I could always dress down to this:

JUST KIDDING !!!




This would be my husband's choice I think. I guess the brown/black faux-pas doesn't apply to bikers.



But according to Road Gear we need these protective gears instead:




After all's considered I think I'm leaning towards more funky- must be the models:






Or maybe can the whole thing and do basics:

Or go really cheap:


With a little funk:

So... First Line Defense

All right, we are fast approaching the time when I would have shared everything I've learned these 17 years on how to in adjust Tina's medicine to her needs.
Isn't it sad that it could be summarrized into a few blogs? Reminds me of how deflating it was for our first son to fit all that was worth saving of his 19 years of life in one bushel box before he left on a mission.

It always helps to have a very simple step by step "First Line Defense" paper posted somewhere by the medications so everyone knows and is reminded what they should do in abnormal situations.
Very important to ascertain at this time what is causing this bad situation. (Read " Believe it or Not and This shall be the Sign")

Date: Important to date your changes

In case of Statis Seizures and OverdoTake outse(drooling, cold wet hands&feet, not swallow&eat):

1. Decrease Dilantin by 1/4 tab at a time (all at once if too deep into it step4).

2.Give 1 extra Tranxene 7.5mg to stop little shoulder jerks meanwhile.

3.Give 1/4 tab. Keppra to see if it stops the statis.

4.Take out all Dilantin. (signal that infection not suppressed)

5.Take out 1/2 tab. Keppra( infection still raging).

If actions taken are right your child should behave very happy and peachy, as if nothing is wrong with her after she/he recups from the statis seizures which could have lasedt all night when you 're franticaly trying to figure out what to do. Don't Panic. Keep your cool , you need it to discern what you must do.

But sit on your laurels at this time, because, as long s she/he is not on her/his regular doses yet she is still not stable.
**You must watch carefully for the signs of underdose of Dilantin because as you progressively irradicate each infection her/his body will soon demand the Dilantin(If your case is that you cannot do without it ,even a very small amount as Tina's). You'll know it because she will start very grand mals again if you missed the more subtle signs, like swallowing when she doesn't need to, even when napping, frowning, uptight, swinging back and forth hard like she's angry, or wanting to walk, sit up, try to stand up, restless.
Reinstate Dilantin 1/4 tab.until you see more of the above sign then add 1/4 tab more until you see that she needs even more until she/he is on her/his normal dose again.

That's about it folks, now that is out of my brain and onto you, I hope this has helped you tremendously. Of course each person is different so proceed with eyes wide open and your heart open to the whispering of the Holy Ghost who will teach you all things you need to know to help your child or loved one.
May God bless you through the infinite atoning sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ who bearest not only all the sins of the world but also all the injustice, infirmities, sicknesses, and pains of the world.

"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infeirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.
Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh, that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me." Alma 7:12 Read more http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/7

If you want to know where I'm coming from, read the Official Beliefs from the Church's official website.
If you worked for a company, wouldn't you appreciate it if your clients came to you or your company for more infrmation or would be really excited if they got it from your competitors.
http://www.mormon.org/welcome/0,6929,403-1,00.html

My Favorite Singer at the Moment

I love my newly discovered artist Michael Buble. Check it out and weep! Only thing I'm afraid of is that he'll come to Salt Lake City for a concert and I'd miss it!!

http://music.yahoo.com/ar-301712-videos--Michael-Buble

MICHAEL BUBLE LYRICS

"Save The Last Dance For Me"

You can dance-every dance with the guy
Who gives you the eye,let him hold you tight
You can smile-every smile for the man
Who held your hand neath the pale moon light
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me
Oh I know that the music's fine
Like sparklin' wine,go and have your fun
Laugh and sing,but while we're apart
Don't give your heart to anyone
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me
Baby don't you know I love you so
Can't you feel it when we touch
I will never never let you go
I love you oh so much
You can dance,go and carry on
Till the night is gone
And it's time to go
If he asks if you're all alone
Can he walk you home,you must tell him no
'Cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling,save the last dance for me
'Cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling,save the last dance for me
Save the last dance for me
Save the last dance for me.

What a Find

After catching a snippet of the movie XXX: State of The Union 2 that my children were watching this weekend, I was reminded how much I loved the energetic violin music of the sophisticated party scene.
I went to amazon.com to find the soundtrack for it, and fortunately it let me listen to the soundtrack and was amazed that this piece was not included. How can they not? It's the best music of them all! So I went to the reviews to see if anyone else was flabbergasted as I was and found this wonderful review :

"The "violin" song played during the party was "VICTORY", performed by BOND, (Haylie Ecker, Eos Chater, Tania Davis & Gay-Yee Westerhoff...yes that's 4 girls, not 3), and I too was very entertained by the entire movie, its soundtrack with ALL the various numbers a very pleasing experience for me. BOND has their own web site, Amazon.com also has their albums available. I just wish I could find their 3 videos they have produced."

I appreciate people who take the time to post reviews for others that follow, a truly wonderful thing.

Needless to say I went to real player and downloaded their top tracks , and now, when I feel frisky, I can work to the blast of "Victory" put on repeat.

Enjoy!

http://bondmusic.net/home.html

http://www.linux-video.net/Audio/RA/SAMPLES.ra.files/Bond.SampleClips/Bond.BondMusic/

I checked these links again since some of you couln't get hear the music and they are fine both in windows and real player.

Old Friends or New Friends

Some of you left comments anonimously and I don't know if my settings caused that, so if you don't mind me knowing who you are, I would love to put a face to each comment, and know who you are. Obviously at least one of you is an old friend because you know our names. Let me know.

Christine

This Shall Be The Sign

Christina is at the tail end of her mild summer cold which every one have had off and on- a croaky throat, a mild sore throat for one or two morning, a cough here and there, sinus headache above the eyebrows galore, not a runny nose really, just a smatter, but a very general malaise and fatigue. I think that's what she got.
I discounted a bladder infection because we've been forcing her liquid (at least 1 glass water with her meds 3xday, and with her meals, 3xday also, and 2 in between, through a syringe if we must) and she's not been on antibiotics lately, so no yeast infection either.
Not a gum infection,we've been putting some hydrogen peroxide (grade A from a health food storeo which I dilute to 2% )on her wet toothbrush at the end after the rinse to prevent any unknown infections there.
No ear picking either.
Besides I don't personally(see "Believe it or Not" posting) have any other symtoms other than the ones cited in the first paragraph for the cold.
She just started going into abscence seizures which became statis when she couldn't shake hem off for the whole afternoon and into the night. Her hands and feet go wet with profuse sweating and then they become icy cold.
When we lay her down we have to gently push her head down to the pillow and turn it toward us, her muscles are so tense. Her arms and legs flail up as she contorts her body forward to the left side(her better side since she has Hemiparesis of the right side) into grand mal seizures about 4 to 6 times a day.

In the past we would just watch helplessly, passing her magnet over her VNS(vegal nerve stimulator implant) in a futile attempt to stop the seizures midstride.

The doctors in the Mamao Hospital in Tahitiwould prescribe more and more Dilantin, Tranxene, or Phenobarb to no avail, when she went in for being in that mess too long, unable to drink or eat, even her meds, because she couldn't swallow.

Our neurologist from America sent an urgent message to try this last thing saying- when no amount of medicine seems to helpat all, it's most likely a Dilantin overdose, so we must stop the Dilantin for 24 to 48 hrs until we see a difference, but meanwhile to let the Phenobarb carry the seizures with Tranxene and Lamictal, and we also had Sabril.
After we got her out of a coma at the hospital from a collapsed lung(That's a whole other important lesson about feeding tube for another day) our neurologist wrote us in an email:

"Now that you've seen what a Dilantin overdose looks like, remember it, burn it into your brain for the future."

This was the turning point in our managment of Tina's seizures.

We noticed she displayed these symptoms at the onset of any infection. Somehow, Dilantin (which we've been trying to eliminate but she seems to need some for seizure control on normal days), causes her to go in overdose mode when she's sick.
I'm guessing that the receptors that receive the Dilantin molecules, which also receive the Sabril molecules, and now the Keppra molecules, are busy doing other things therefore pushing all her Dilantin molecules through the blood/brain barrier.
And yet, whatever those receptors are doing when she's sick, it makes it so she doesn't need her Dilantin at those time, only when she's well does her body demand Dilantin, even the smallest amount.

So once we understood that, we could manage Tina's seizures by removing the Dilantin right away. She usually will respond right away, or ,by the next dosage if we did the right thing.
We will see almost no statis, and she'll almost, but not quite, be her old self again.

But we must still address her infection, figure out what it could be, because the sicker she is the harder it is to control her seizures. Meanwhile an extra Tranxene is useful to control the extra little twitches.

An empty water bottle filled halfway with apple cider vinegar and the other half with honey has been a boon to us to fight any upper respiratory infections. If we catch it at the very beginning we seldom need to give her a syringe of it by mouth 3xday for more than a week; if the runny nose doesn't stop with 1 syringe then give her 2 or 3 more syringes until it stops. Flush it down quickly with 2-4 syringes more of water. I have to do that now that she's too old to suck on a bottle of apple cider vinegar and honey tea(Add about 2-3 Tbs of the vinegar/honey syrup to a cup of water or to a bottle- it should be pleasant but still be strong enough to kill any germs in the throat, about the color of apple cider juice). This mixture is very useful against gastritis diarreah.
For UTIs (urinary infections) I was fortunate to find a local homeopathic clinic where I can get drops made especically for all her needs, her gum infection, even for her aversion of water at this time(probably from the bitterness of her meds mixture administered via a syringe also, like her water, when she isn't drinking enough. Yeah, I thought it corky that something would help her accept water better, until I read something in Human Cellular biology but that's another chapter for later. Thet can do eardrops too. It beas trying to find antibiotics online.

How do you know when the infection is over. This is the hardest part of this whole business, because the symptoms are almost the same when she's at the edge of either the underdose area or the overdose area.
This grey area manifests itself with the same symptoms as when we started. She's doing just fine until out of nowhere she gets a grand mal, some twitches, and even statis sets in, and I don't know if it's a relapse or if she's ready for her Dilantin.
This is when you need all your wits about you and you observe for subtler signs. I noticed that when Tina is in the underdose mode, she usually doesn't drool, but swallows excessively even in her sleep, and her muscles are more taut than flacid, her neck especially, and Grand Mal seizures usually the first signs.
If this is what I'm going with, I would add 1/4 (12.5mg) Dilantin first and see how it goes, if I am right she'll be better and snap out of her seizures. If I'm wrong she'll be worse especially 45 min after we give it to her, or if she gets better just before the next dose. If it's good I'll maintain this until she starts having more seizures than i know her body needs more Dilantin. I'll add 1/2(25mg) and so on until she's on her regular dosage.

Only the ones who have gone through this grey area would know how hard it is to discern which way to go. For me I need, in addition to everything I've observed, help from beyond myself, I need the help of the Lord to tell me if what I'm about to do is correct or not. That might seem easier said than done.
If you can imagine just being awakened at 5AM and being asked by whoever you have over the meds(ours is our son Adam who is still home until October before he leaves for the Montreal Mission) and he's asking you what he needs to do for the meds, or you're away to help your daughter and her new baby , and he asks you what to do with her Dilantin- it's nerve racking and you must have complete trust in whatever you worked out with the Lord to be your way of knowing from him, yeah or nay.
Let me tell you about King Hezekiah's system of communication with God in 2 kings 20:1-11. after the prophet Isaiah tells him to set his house in order because he is about to die, he beseeches the Lord to remember how he has done that which is good in his sight, and of his perfect heart, and he wept sore(I've done that many a time). The Lord hears his prayer and tells him through Isaiah

"I have seen thy tears: Behold I will heal thee; on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the Lord. And I will add unto thy days fifteen years; and I will deliver thee and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria...

And Hezekiah said unto Isaiah, What shall be the sign that the Lord will heal me, and that I shall go up into the house of the Lord the third day?

I love this. The prophet gives him a choice:

"And Isaiah said, This sign shalt thou have of the Lord, that the Loird will do the thing that he hath spoken: shall the shadow go forward ten degrees, or go back ten degrees?
And Hezekiah answered, It is a light thing for the shadow to go down ten degrees( Rrright, but I think he meant that it would be easier for him to miss this sign since it goes in that direction anyway). nay, but let the shadow return backward ten degrees.
And isaiah cried unto the Lord: and he brought the shadow ten degrees backward, by which it had gone down in the dial of Ahaz." 2 Kings 20:1-11 KJV

I know the Lord will honor whatever method you might choose between He and you to help you know for sure what to do, right down to the number of miligrams you need.

May God blees you.

Believe It or Not...

During our wedding anniverssary vacation at Lake Powell one year(about 6 years ago today), I was awakened with the worse toothache. I tossed and turned til morning. No medicine could alleviate the pain. When morning came we headed to the middle of the main channel before it branched into little Cottonwood Canyon (this is where we registered all the kids for their High School courses if we happen to be there during their assigned turn) so I could call home to ask how Tina was doing.
Before I couls ask the question, Erica, our oldest daughter, urgently reported that she couldn't get Tina to stop scraping and digging at her gum, even when it was bleeding!
I told her to call for an appointment with the dentist and that we'll be right home, meanwhile to cut her fingernails.
I didn't go with them to the dentist so I could get our stuff packed up for another week at Lake Powell with the rest of the family.
My husband came home with Tina saying that our regular dentist wasn't there but that his alternate said there must be food stuck in her gum and that she was trying to get it out. When I asked about x-rays, he said that the previous x-ray didn't warrant another one at the moment. Meanwhile Tina was still frantically digging in her gum.
Although very uneasy and unhappy with his diagnosis I capitulated when my husband in exasperation said ' Look he is the dentist, not you, so he ought to know!"
So I backed off and tried to take care of it with alternative treatment, homeopathic drops, and pain medicine.
Meanwhile she had a flare of seizures, she was so heavily into statis seizures on her next 6 month checkup a few weeks later that we all thought that this would be a perfect time to do xrays, because she wouldn't fight so much. She didn't. But they also found an infection so close to her jaw bone that she was rushed into surgery immediately before the infection risked going systemic.
I learned a lesson that day.
When you have an understanding with the Lord whatever it may be, have the faith and courage to follow it through instead of fearing men.

Family home Evening with Tina

Christina's close call in Tahiti hospital in 2004

Mailee Ke'ala born August 1, 2006

August 1976, 1999, 2002

Happy 30th anniverssary August 7th 2006. We'll be celebrating it again in Hawaii. Let's top Lahaina this year in Kauai!

My Family July 2005

Genesis of a meme blogger

This is an appropriate time for me to start a blog, a new beginning for me while my daughter Erica is in a hospital in Iowa with a new heaven sent baby girl just a few minutes old. How brave for mothers to go to the brink of death to bring to earth these angelic souls still swathed in clouds of glory.
If they could only speak and remind us of our heavenly home, and bring us word of our heavenly parents. All we can do is pause, stare, and admire in grateful awe at the godly privilege of creation given us.

I have another daughter, Christina, swathed in clouds of glory still, even at seventeen years old now, although she cannot speak or care for herself in any way at all, we see glimpses of her former self by the way she stoicly bears the infirmities of this life with humility and submissiveness, for the greater good of those who come in contact with her.

This blog then is a way for me to share the things I've learned through long painful trials and errors as we cope with the aftermath of her Meningitis infection contracted when she was only three weeks old.

Epilepsy of the worse kind resulted from the scarrification of the remaining brain tissue, the left hemisphere thinner than the white meat of a mature coconut, a fluid filled gaping hole in its stead. Her right brain only a little less damaged allows for spirit to spirit communication instead of a blank slate, that is, when she is not sick in any other way, in which case we see increase seizures activities with statis seizures and a whole range of seizures known to man.

Hoping to help some of you out there who are struggling with a " Tina" like ours, I will take the time to write down, as we go, the things that are working, or not for us.

The right dosage of her medicinal treatment, of course, is the key to Christina's health quality, and that is what I would like to blog here so that what was hard earned could be had with less pain and suffering, in the least amount of time.

I am a full-time mother as you can imagine, and not a doctor, much less a writer, so whatever I share with you will purely be from my own experience.

You do what you will with this information.

No one cares about your child more than yourself , nor would anyone else spend more time assessing and pondering about her care more than you, even your doctors couldn't possibly dedicate as much time as you do for your child.

Your doctors sees your child 10 minutes or so during an office visit, while the remaining time is yours to watch and monitor and record what is working and what is not.
So it is imperative to find a doctor who will give you some leeway to move the dosages according to needs, after you've demonstrated some aptitude and comprehension on what drug does what on your child.

Christina's current medicinal treatment prioritized by importance in my opinion:

Keppra 750 mg 2 tabs 2 tabs 2 tabs
Lamictal 200mg 1 tab 1 tab 1 tab
Tranxene 7.5mg 2 tabs 3 tabs 3 tabs
Dilantin 50 mg 3/4 tab 3/4 tab 3/4 tab

*These dosages are very dynamic and need to be adjusted constantly at the slightest cold, flu, or infection.

This was the key wisdom to my success in avoiding deathly situations with her because every time she catches anything from any of us or from school, she lays there like a vegetable, unable to swallow her medicine(we crush all her meds together and mix it with watered down honey through a syringe- yes I know most meds say not to crush, but we have no alternative and they still work.), unable to eat, a blank stare, drooling piteously. While her bladder empties all day long from prolonged spasms, her hands and feet icy cold and wet from vessel spasms (I don't know what term they call the latter in English, but the French had a term for it for another condition cited in one of the volumes I bought in Tahiti called" Guides des Plantes Medicinales" Dr G. Pamplona-Roger, Bibliotheque education et Sante) , and I lost it. I'll keep looking.

It explained perfectly what was happening to Tina.

Whenever she was sick, we noticed for years that her hands and feet would be wringing wet and icy cold, the doctors didn't know what to make of it and never address the issue. But when I read that term which I translated as vessel spasms, I could see the correlation of the major symptoms I saw whenever she was not doing well. She would wet everything all day long even when she was barely drinking(we kinda force the liquid in her mouth through a syringe- no needle kind) and that was the time she most likely would pass her normally very hard and large ball of stool, and the wet and icy hands and feet, all smooth tissues were contracting in internal seizures.

Why didn't we think of her vessels constricting when all her visible muscles are seizing, putting her whole body in a Charlie horse-like vice...
So this became our first sure signal of trouble ahead.
If we notice a few shoulder jerks, or a slight arm jerk, or her face pulling to one side, and excessive drooling, I touch her hands and feet to see if the extremities are getting cold and wet and notice the time for later assessment.

Now the trouble is how could we know what is ailing her since she cannot talk?
It could be anything! A tooth infection, a gum infection, a cold, the flu, a urinary infection, an ear infection, and you need to assertain that as soon as possible before the infection sets deep.

That is when you call on all the faith that you have in a God that knows all and hope and pray that you've lived your life well enough to merit and comprehend the guidance of the Holy Ghost who communicates to us mostly through the conduit of the Light of Christ which is in all things which is also called the Spirit of truth.

I envision this spiritual gift as a house in which the architect builds in the electrical wiring system ( The Light of Christ)so that when the people are ready to live in their new home, they pay for a hook up with an electric company and voila, you have electricity running through those wires to light you house( The Holy Ghost) !

But I was always taught that angels will not do anything that man can do for himself. Only when the situation is beyond our capacity will they reach down and help.

It makes perfect sense too. If we are here on earth to be tested whether we will obey God's laws of our own free will, angels cannot come whenever to bail us out. We can only count on His grace after all that we can do.

So from the time I left the hospital with Tina 17 years ago I prayed to God to let me have whatever she was suffering from so I 'd know for sure what was the matter with her so that I can help her.

God was merciful to me and apparently accepted my somewhat archaic proposal because it was the only proposal I had at the time.

Whenever my ears would hurt I looked for an infection in her ears. My teeth hur. Is it really mine or hers? Painful urination- what was the smell of her pee this morning.
No better way to get your attention I'll say!

I will tell you of one of the times I remember when I didn't pay attention and didn't put enough faith in this, our 2 way communication.

Until next time.

Christine